Stalker

As mornings in school have come and passed, consisting of me observing my orchestra class, I've come to think that I've gotten to know the students well, simply by watching them. So much so, that I feel like a stalker at times (Observation Notes 11/6). I watch them Monday through Friday, week after week. I notice what they're wearing, their hairstyles, the way they carry themselves, and I learn a lot about them. Thing is, they don't know how attentively I watch them. They don't know I watch them at all.

I may not be a conventional stalker, but I sure do feel like one. According to In the Mind of a Stalker, in Psychology Today, there are five classified stalkers, the "rejected" stalker, needing closure over a previous relationship; the "intimacy seeker," becoming enamored with someone and thinks the other loves them back; the "incompetent" stalker, falling in love but knowing the other person isn't in love with them; the "resentful" stalker wanting revenge on their victim for some reason or the other; and the "predator" type, wanting "power and control" over their victims (Muller).

I don't know what category I'd fit into, if any, but I do know that I'll continue to watch the students in my class. In the non-creepiest way possible I hope. I have a feeling that although I've come to think I'm a stalker, watching everyone is an essential part of my observing. Maybe stalking is an instinct that one becomes addicted to? Maybe the stalker doesn't think anything of it, or, like me, they might know exactly what they're doing. Intentional or not, it doesn't justify such actions. And intentional or not, I'll still watch from my corner in the back of the room.

Works Cited

Muller, Robert. "In the Mind of a Stalker." Psychology Today. N.p. 22 June 2013.

        Web. 8 Nov. 2014.

Appearances

Judgement, prejudice, discrimination, all harsh realities pertaining to our human societies. Formulated ideas, originated in our minds by biased opinions based on appearances — again, harsh realities. Haunted by insecurities, some of us try to change our identities. We change how we look, how we speak, how we act, all to fit into a world conceived on lies. We strive to be accepted but for what purpose? Is changing our entire being worth the outcome?

I notice his clothes; I've been noticing them for the past three weeks now. "You're casual again," I say to my teacher, Ames. He hasn't been wearing his usual button down shirts and dress pants. Instead, he now wears long sleeved thermals, jeans and regular tennis shoes.

His only response, a small chuckle and a simple, "Yeah," before turning away.

I turn to Lizbeth, my stand partner, and notice that she's just as confused as I am. We come up with a theory, maybe he feels like he fits in better with his students if he dresses like them.

I ask Ames towards the end of class why he's been dressing so differently and sure enough, Liz's and my theory is correct. He tells me that he feels too "formal," and "dressed up," for his middle school classes (Observation notes 10/28). He's been having trouble getting them to behave and he feels like his formal attire only makes it more difficult to control them. I don't understand why he felt like he had to change his clothes in order to get his students to like him. Most of his older students know what a great teacher he is so, to me, it doesn't make sense that the middle schoolers don't treat him well. "How would changing his appearance even make a difference in how his students treat him?" (Observation notes 10/28).

Usually, we hear about dressing up for success but Ames was dressing down. He wants his students' perceptions of him to be better so by dressing down he might feel that he's equal to them and they'll like him more. What Ames is doing is being aware of his "audience," a group of teenagers, and using that to his "advantage" when choosing his clothes to make an impression (Klosowski).

Truth is, we are constantly being judged for the smallest of things (Kiisel). What should it mater what we wear? Yes, changing one's appearance might be a quick fix but people won't be liking one for who they really are. Ames should should know that he's a great guy no matter the clothes he wears. So what if he dresses fancy every single day? Frankly, I miss his fancy little outfits— a lot of us do. We shouldn't try changing ourselves just to appease others. When situations arise such as the one my teacher is going through, all that's left is standing tall, and boy, is my teacher tall.

Works Cited

Kiisel, Ty. "You Are Judged by Your Appearance." Forbes. N.p. 20 Mar. 2013. 
        Web. 1 Nov. 2014. 

Klosowski, Thorin. "The Psychology Behind How Clothing Influences How 
        People See You At Work." lifehacker. N.p. 29 Mar. 2013. Web. 1 Nov. 
        2014. 

Time to Play

Up goes my instrument, held firmly, yet relaxed, by my left hand. My chin feels cold against the smooth chin rest. My right hand holds my bow while my left gets ready to recreate several finger movements. My eyes, they see black on white; a foreign language of notes and patterns. I must be precise as I play, making sure that my fingers don't skip a note, that my eyes don't wander away, that my left arm uses as much pressure as it needs to create quiet or loud dynamics. I must remain concentrated as I read and count and as my hands do completely contrasting things. Playing an instrument isn't as easy as it seems.

Recently, during class, I realized the many parts that go into playing an instrument, whether it be finger patterns, bow strength, or counting beats. It's interesting to me that I learned to play the violin but I never thought about all the steps that go with it.

With my realization came the question, "Does playing an instrument improve brain function?" (Observation Notes 10/24). I thought of this question because when playing an instrument, one does many things at once. Since the brain is responsible for making everything work, maybe the brain is being used more than usual. It was questions like these that led me to research the relationship between playing an instrument and the brain.

In my research, I came across the video, How Playing an Instrument Benefits Your Brain. Watching it I learned that playing an instrument makes your brain work much more than simply listening to music. While listening to music lights up a few parts of the brain, playing music lights up multiple parts of the brain, working together and sending "intricate" messages. In other words, the whole brain is being used at the same time. Not only does the brain get a "full workout," but playing an instrument "increases the volume and activity in the corpus callosum." The brain is then more fit to solve problems, be more organized, and analyze more effectively. Here's a link to the video for extra information: http://ed.ted.com/lessons/how-playing-an-instrument-benefits-your-brain-anita-collins (How Playing an Instrument...).

According to another source, "Playing a Musical Instrument Makes You Brainier," I discovered that playing an instrument could even facilitate the process of learning an other language. This is because when playing music, our brain is able to memorize more things and interpret as well. Something else I found to be interesting was that musicians are more perceptible to emotions. They can tell how someone's feeling based on the person's tone and pitch of voice. This is probably why "feeling" the music is a big part of playing music. Usually people can judge whether a song is sad or happy and I guess it's the same for people (Alleyne).  

Learning now, that being a musician does, in fact, improve brain function, I can't help but wonder, by how much?  What would have been of my brain if I hadn't been introduced to the violin? Would I still be as "smart?" Maybe the stereotype that orchestra students are good students is true.

Works Cited

Alleyne, Richard. "Playing a Musical Instrument Makes You Brainier." The 
        Telegraph. N.p. 27 Oct. 2009. Web. 25 Oct. 2014.

How Playing an Instrument Benefits Your Brain. By Anita Collins. Dir. Sharon 
        Colman Graham. TED Ed Lessons Worth Sharing. Web. 25 Oct. 2014.

What's the Deal with Music?

(I thought this was cute :))

Music transports the soul and captures the mind. Of all the things that catch my attention, music is my favorite. Often I wonder about what makes music so special; "how can a few rhythms and tones, coupled with notes and pitches cause so much emotion, bring back memories, or even change a person's mood?" (Observation Notes 10/14). As inexplicable as it seems to me, I decided to find out why we humans enjoy music to such an extent.

(I'm obsessed with gifs. Sorry ._.)

The brain, the most complex organ in our human body, seems to be the answer to most of my questions, but at the same time it's the answer to nothing.  This probably sounds confusing but, there is no known part of the brain specifically connected to processing music. Processing music actually uses multiple parts of the brain, with the temporal and frontal lobe of the brain working together, although it could be different for everyone (Mauk).

When listening to music, a chemical in our brains called dopamine is released. Dopamine, being a hormone associated with addictions to drugs, sex, love, and food, creates a sort of "reward system." Because of this "reward system," we associate certain music with certain things we expect, or past experiences (Ball). This might explain why I'm always so happy after my orchestra class. We've started playing Christmas themed songs and I might be associating the songs with presents and enjoyable past Christmases spent with family. "I've noticed I'm always in a good mood after this class, which is great since it's my very first period. I think it might be all because of the Christmas songs." (Observation Notes 10/16).

Whatever the reason, music is still a great mystery. Like, does music affect our behavior? Is it possible to become addicted to music from the levels of dopamine it releases? I have so many questions; questions I'll surely look into.

Works Cited

Ball, Philip. "Will we ever...understand why music makes us feel good?" 
        BBC. N.p. 19 Apr. 2013. Web. 18 Oct. 2014.

Mauk, Ben. "Why Do We Love Music?" livescience. N.p. 7 Feb. 2013. Web. 18 
        Oct. 2014

A Little Bit of Morning Glory

Nature. A gift from the world that many people take for granted, one of those people being myself. Sure, I love to admire nature, that is, as long as it's in pictures and such. I'm not one of those outdoorsy girls. I rarely go outside and much less spend time with nature. Much was my surprise when I actually took time to observe the nature around my house.

For starters, I never knew how interested I'd be in flowers. This May I noticed that we had flowers out back. They were pink but not just any pink. They were the pink that stands out, really

catching one's attention and that's exactly what they did, they caught my attention. I took a quick picture of them and honestly, I forgot about them. I'd see them in the morning when I'd take my dog outside but I'd just glace at them. By August I noticed they were gone but I didn't think much of it. Now thinking about it I regret not noticing them earlier and not caring for them and, in a sense, appreciating them.

Now it's October. Months have passed and new life has taken form where life was no more. New flowers came out. Thing is, they're not the same type of flower. I have no idea when they came out or how they came out, not even my parents know. The flowers were never there before. they just appeared now. "Their shape is that of a trumpet, long and flaring at the end. From the top view, the flowers look like circles with a five point star in the middle. Their color is pink, a pink so hot it's ready to pop. " (Observation Notes 10/6)                             What I found to be most interesting was the discovery I made two days later. I was about to take my dog out for a walk. It was a bit late at night and as I was putting on my dog's leash, I happened to look at where the new flowers are and I saw nothing. I saw no flowers. I got closer and then I saw them. "They were closed as if sleeping for the night." (Observation Notes 10/8) They look like little flower buds before blooming. Other's looked liked shriveled up flowers that didn't get to close right.

I needed to find out what they were called and luckily after a lot of Google search attempts I found out that they're called Ipomoea flowers. They're also known as Morning Glories. According to http://flowerinfo.org/morning-glory-flowers morning glory flowers are even used in food and they're even used as medicine in some places. What I really want to know is what causes them to close every evening and what causes them to open every morning? I'll have to look into that soon.

I'm glad I noticed these flowers because knowing myself, I probably would've taken them for granted just like I've taken many things in nature for grated before. 

Early Halloween, Earlier Christmas

Two months, two surprisingly short months were spent by Sparks High School's orchestra, practicing for our October concert. Our concert, focusing primarily on a Halloween theme, went rather well considering how much fooling around goes on during rehearsals. It's not that we don't get anything done, but there's a lot of talking that goes on. Sometimes it's so loud that my teacher Mr. Ames can't even talk. "Ames has to repeat himself too much." (Observation Notes, 9/22)


I know I sound like I'm complaining, and I kind of am, but we'd get a lot more practice if everyone was respectful during rehearsal time. It's literally the only rule in our class, to be respectful and quiet during rehearsal. I've noticed that Ames gets upset himself when the students aren't paying attention. I can tell because he runs his left hand (it's always his left) through his already thinning, blond hair, sighs a little and shakes his head to himself. I feel bad for him. He's a really nice guy but he should be a bit stricter if he wants the kids to behave. And the kids aren't bad kids at all! I'm not supporting the stereotype that all orchestra kids are nerds but they seem like good kids. I dont really know many of them since they're freshmen but my instincts tell me they're good.


Okay. Enough about the chit chattering children. Let's talk music. Our October Concert, like I said earlier was focused on a Halloween theme. We played various songs to go along with that theme such as The Adam's Family theme song (snaps included), the Jaw's theme song (we should've had a pretend shark), Phantom of The Opera, and a few others. I couldn't help but notice that a lot of the kids were nervous. The girl sitting in front of me was shaking! I wanted to hug her but..... that would've been awkward.


Now that we got our new set, I have to figure out how to stop myself from humming Christmas songs since, our whole set is full of Christmas songs. I don't understand why we'd get Christmas songs so early! Halloween hasn't even passed yet and I'm already humming to Carol of the Bells. I probably sound like a weirdo, but at least I sound like a jolly weirdo. For now, I'll just worry about not going crazy with so much Christmas music. "I might just go crazy soon." (Observation Notes, 10/3)

So Loud

In all my years of being in orchestra, I've never noticed much. To be honest, I'd just go into class and play my instrument (I play the violin just in case anyone is wondering). Every single day would be the same routine. I didn't mind, I love rehearsals but now things have changed.


These past two weeks I've been taking my time to observe my orchestra class. I think it's safe to say that I've discovered a lot. To start, I noticed how loud my class is! It's pretty annoying now that I've noticed it. I should probably mention that I'm observing my Freshmen orchestra class. Now, I'm not saying that freshmen are loud and obnoxious but they just won't shut up! What I find interesting is that they get louder throughout the week. On Monday they're moderately quiet but as soon as Friday comes around, everything is ten times louder. Before I wouldn't have noticed how much talking goes on in that class. Even my teacher is out and about socializing before class starts. "Ames is 'interacting.'" (Observation notes, 9/23)


Now that I've touched on the subject of my teacher, let me describe him a bit. He's tall, lanky, blond, and awkward but not the weird awkward, the funny awkward. He's also very "calm and patient." (Observation notes, 9/15) I haven't really noticed anything about him that I haven't noticed before so I'll make sure to observe him some more next week.